Someone Like You
by Crystal Fissure
Summary: Eli confronts Clare for the first time since their two week break from school. Things don't go as planned... xEClare Angstx
1. Surrender

**A/N: WOOP! I'm back after... two days? :D This must be a new record for me. As opposed as I am to songfics, I had this idea floating around my head for a while and needed to write it if I was going to regain my sanity. :D Essentially, it's a _very_ angsty story that will most likely be a twoshot. Ah, EClare angst: how we love thee!**

**I do not own the song "Surrender" by Billy Talent. But geez, what a _song._ I've never heard anything like it. Simply lovely.**

**This story is dedicated to Erised Lestrange because she is pandemically amayzing in every way. :)**

**Disclaimer: Really? If I owned Degrassi, this would be in _scripts_ and not online**

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_I think I found a flower in a field of weeds_  
_Searching until my hands bleed_  
_This flower don't belong to me_  
_Why can't she belong to me?_

_Surrender every word, every thought, every sound_  
_Surrender every touch, every smile, every frown_  
_Surrender all the pain we've endured until now_  
_Surrender all the hope that I lost you have found_  
_Surrender yourself to me_

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There are many things I can tell you: I can tell you why the sun sets red. It's mainly a phenomenon in optics; in the spectrum of color, red particles travel the farthest. Extending from this, I could tell you why the sky is blue. Heck, I could tell you how to structure an argumentative essay and how to isolate a variable in a quadratic equation.

Yet, there are many things I can't explain. I can't tell you why my car breaks down every week; I keep it in top shape. I can't tell you why I love rock music; every person has their tastes I guess.

I've also learned how some of the unexplained phenomena in life really don't need to be clarified. My best friend isn't who you think he is. He's a man trapped in a woman's body; transgender, they call it. I can't explain how it works. All I can say is, I really don't care. I see him the way he wants to be seen. He's my friend. Case closed.

Some phenomena you wish you could explain but can never find the words to match it. Those are the worst. Because when it comes time to confront it, you can't formulate proper sentences with adequate vocabulary to get your point across. You stand there, looking like a fool, nervous and tongue tied as countless, nonexistent words danced on the tip of your tongue, mocking you. And you make stupid mistakes. Mistakes you'll regret forever. Mistakes you could have _fixed_ had you been in the right mindset at the time.

_Love_… such a scary thing. I contemplated it once. Key word: _contemplated_. I hadn't established it yet. It's not one of those things that you earn by being a good brownie at camp; it's an epiphany. After ages of trials and hardships, you realize it and all the pieces suddenly fall into place, or so I've heard.

I didn't know what love was; I'd never experienced it. I didn't quite _love_ Julia yet. It was still too early to judge. But I was certain it would happen one day. She was the sun in my life; she chased the storm clouds away with a flash of her grin or the blink of her eyes.

And in naught but a mere second, she was gone. Forever. Like the breeze, she passed through my life for a short while only to take off and never return. Because of _me_. If I hadn't been so harsh, she wouldn't have left in a hurry, her vision blurred and her mind in shambles. She probably would have _seen_ the car as she crossed the intersection. She probably would have slammed the breaks and let it pass before pressing on. She would have _lived_.

Love didn't make sense to me after that; it was what I had mentioned earlier. You wish you could explain it, but can't. I've always had this ideology that love was a supreme force of happy emotions; the ray of light in your life. If it was so wonderful… why should I even consider ever finding it? After what I had done, did I deserve such a beautiful thing? A preposterous idea. Why should I deserve to be happy?

Never did I imagine _she_ could change my life.

A deity of the purest kind, walking the earth among the mortals. She was beautiful in every way; her hair pigmented with autumn leaves, an intoxicating scent of roses and vanilla, her voice soft like the rain with eyes that reflected the summer sky. She was a saint, a peacekeeper, mature and logical with a fire and a passion to fight for her beliefs. Needless to say, I was captivated.

_Clare._

My own personal slice of heaven and hell. Life is deliciously ironic.

I can't explain what she had done to me; it was one of those phenomena. I wouldn't force a smile at the sight of her sapphire eyes; it would come naturally. She made my nerves tense and my heart flutter. And she reminded me how to be happy.

I contemplated love again; this time, it didn't seem so distant, not like it had with Julia. It seemed real, easy and in the simplest terms _right_. And I had to let her know; I had to make her _mine_.

I did make her mine. I made her believe she was the only girl who could ever make me feel this way. We _were_ happy.

Do you know who I am?

My name is Eli. Eli Goldsworthy. Elijah _fucking_ Goldsworthy. And I screw things up. Nothing _ever_ turns out right for me.

I am not a pushover. I don't let _anyone_ have their way with me. Especially not bullies or jerks. So, you can imagine my aggravation when Fitz decided to pick a fight with me and Adam. You don't do that and come out alive. How do you keep a bully at bay? Refuse to be the victim. Keep. Them. Scared. It had worked for me until now.

Clare… my Clare… she had different ideas. She was the epitome of purity and innocence; she suggested we talked our differences and resolved the problem as men. She didn't understand; angels never see the blinding hate and pain that scours this earth. It wasn't that simple.

She threw herself into the fray. She attempted to be the white flag in this never-ending game of cat and mouse, offering herself as a reasonable sacrifice. After I had _specifically_ told her to let me handle it. She wouldn't listen. She was just as stubborn as I was. Fuck.

I thought I would die two weeks ago; my enemy decided to step up his game and add weapons into the equation. Yet, as he approached me with a sullen, dark look on his face with the silver knife glinting in his grip with a taste for my blood, I thought of only one thing: Clare. What would she do if I died? The thought of her tears streaming from her perfect eyes, soaking my lifeless, blood-stained body was simply painful. There were so many things we hadn't done, so many things I hadn't said. Stupid things, like watching her burn her tongue on a cup of tea at _The Dot_ or proofreading her assignments in the park after having skipped class. Watching her eyes flicker with understanding at my lopsided smirk or seeing her rosy cheeks grow scarlet after hearing one of my witty comments. The thought of dying, of never being able to see her lovely smile or gazing into her blue eyes ever again… I was frightened.

I would take a thousand knives and die a thousand deaths just for a chance to look into her eyes one last time. And that's when I realized it. Like a ton of bricks, it hit me. My realization, my sudden epiphany…

Love. I loved her. I loved her more than anything I could possibly imagine.

Although my life was spared, my feelings were in a knot, my thoughts in shambles. I lived to see another day and look into her eyes, smell her perfume, feel the softness of her lips on mine. But… would it ever be the same? Would I ever get to do all this again? Will I ever be able to tell her how I felt?

_I don't have your answer. But if it's this… I don't think I can be with you._

Her words pierced my heart like that knife that had stabbed the wall beside me. My flesh may have been intact but my heart bled. In an instant, she was gone, leaving me to live in torment for the next two weeks, contemplating if I should speak to her or the words I would say if she had decided to grace me with her time. I spent two weeks counting the seconds until this moment, where I would be standing beside her locker, waiting for my angel. I needed to tell her how I felt, how she coursed through my veins and clouded my thoughts, how my delicate heart was torn without her smile and how fear seemed irrelevant when I spoke of love.

To surrender her smile, her thoughts, her wit and her touch; surrender everything to me.

I tensed as I watched her scurry briskly towards me, swallowing my fear as I straightened my posture. I didn't know how she felt. The only thing that seemed relevant to me at the moment was the fact that I had royally screwed up. And I needed to _fix_ this.

"Clare?" I asked softly, not wanting to sound too demanding. She merely ignored me, fiddling with her lock as she attempted multiple combinations. She was upset. Fuck.

"Please, Clare, I need to speak with you," I continued, rolling my eyes slightly. I don't plead. I never fucking plead. What was this girl _doing to me_?

She angrily slammed her lock against the metal door, turning to meet my gaze, glaring knives at my clouded eyes. "Talk about WHAT, Eli? How you take my breath away, kiss me and hold my hand and suddenly turn violent, don't listen to my pleas, almost get yourself killed and barely speak to me for two weeks?"

"It's not like that. You wouldn't understand," I said briskly, gritting my teeth. She may have been the light in my life but there were some things she needed to let me take care of on my own.

She scoffed, shaking her head in disappointment. "You're stubborn as sin, Eli, you know that? You'd rather choose your pride over those that care about you. What am I to you?"

I stared at her, dumbfounded. What was she to me? Words couldn't describe what this girl was to me, what she _meant_ to me. Yet, the look in her eyes said it all. She was slipping out of my grasp, ready to fall into the darkness that is my own personal hell. Good things never last for me. For once, I had found something worth fighting for and she was slowly slipping through my fingers. Why can't she belong to me?

I couldn't let her slip away. She was worth fighting for. "Clare, I… how could I speak to you after what had happened? How could I even look at you and not feel ashamed for what I had done to you?"

Her expression stayed firm with the exception of her eyes. They were dull, grey, clouded and glassy, filling with tears as the seconds trickled by. My hope trickled away along with her tears, afraid to know what she was thinking.

"Please, Clare," I said softly, "I'm sorry. Please tell me you'll give me a chance; please tell me I have a second chance to fix this."

Her expression was blank as a few tears streamed from her eyes, backing away from me as she sniffed to regain any form of composure she had left. I felt my expression twist into sadness as I lifted a shaky hand in her direction, silently pleading for her not to leave. My heart felt heavy as I saw her shake her head, denying my attempts at affection. We were in two different worlds now. Disconnected, torn at the seams. As was my heart.

"I don't love you, Eli."

With bated breath and a look of misery that made my heart sink, she turned the other way and marched towards the exit; exiting the school, dashing every scrap of happiness I had left.

There are some things I can't explain. This one, I could.

My name is Eli Goldsworthy and I never cry. Yet, Clare Edwards was responsible for the countless tears that streamed down my face.

_I never had the nerve to ask_  
_Has my moment come and passed?_

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_**ANGST!**_** :D Essentially, chapter two will be all of this from Clare's POV, which means, you guessed it, sad ending. ;_; But it _kills_ me to break up EClare so I was contemplating making this a threeshot... Hmm... As per usual, I will divert your attention to the 'Review' button below. :) I assure you, they will be worshipped.**


	2. I Don't Love You

**A/N: Had to update this before tonight's episode. Who else is stoked for Taco Night? I know I am! :D**

**The song used in this chapter is called 'I Don't Love You' by... please don't hurt me... My Chemical Romance. *cowers* Ok, you know what? HATERS GON HATE. I don't see why it's such a big deal to despise certain artists such as My Chemical Romance and Taylor Swift and whoever else... If the song is relevant, that's all that matters. We should be allowed to use any song we see fit with our story. 'I Don't Love You' is a lovely song filled with broken love and melancholy, which is exactly what I needed for this chapter. -_- Sorry for the rant, needed to be said. I also own no rights to the song or group whatsoever. XD**

**Disclaimer: Do I need to say it? I think you know. xD I don't own Degrassi.**

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_After all this time that you still owe _  
_You're still the good-for-nothing I don't know_  
_So take your gloves and get out_  
_Better get out while you can_

_When you go, would you have the guts to say...?_

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Purgatory.

I still remember the senseless overuse of that word in Sunday school. Purgatory was _supposed_ to be a state of purification following death, preparing the departed soul for Heaven, or something like that. But, adults preferred to use it to scare children rather than the blasphemous _boogeyman_. As children, we were repeatedly told to be good, otherwise we'll end up in purgatory; a terrible place where _bad_ children are brought to once they die and destined to live in limbo between the living and the dead. Don't want to end up in purgatory? Want a direct access to Heaven? Then, eat your vegetables, listen to your mother, don't talk back, clean your room and don't skip class when the embodiment of pure perfection presents the idea to you with a smirk and a half-eaten apple in hand.

Maybe that last one could be overlooked. Hell seemed like a much better alternative.

I am not a woman scorned. In this context, perhaps the better word would be _torn_. Torn between emotions and beliefs, between what is right and what is wrong. Anger is irrelevant; it's an unsteady emotion that boils over like a volcano, causing torment for a short period of time before calming down, leaving a mess in its wake. My mess? I like to think it's purgatory. I already had my raging fits of anger; those had come and gone. Now, my heart just feels numb, as if I was floating between Heaven and Hell, definitely not alive but not exactly dead. A state of limbo where the time passes with the dull clicking of my wristwatch, _waiting_. For what exactly, I can't tell you. For all I knew, it was all just a dream…

And then I see it again; a towering figure, almost twice my size, a malicious smile and a maniacal look in his eyes, a glint of silver, the epitome of perfection looking fearful and pleading, a gasp escaping my lips and a knife in the wall.

I could pray it was a dream; it never changes anything. It happened anyways.

To say I am angry would be extraneous; that boy, that stupid boy, that brainless stitch of a human being was the cause of it. I _tried_ to help, don't get me wrong. He just wouldn't _listen_. He was just as stubborn as I, in one ear and out the other. I told him not to get involved with my family issues; he did anyways and embarrassed my name at a student showcase. I told him not to let any bothersome bullies get to him; he did anyways and assumed I wouldn't notice that resulting rather large gash in his lip. And why stop there? Why should he even _begin_ to listen to me then? Obviously a black eye, broken lip and a run-in with the police wasn't enough for him. His life needed to be at risk for him to get the _goddamn_ satisfaction he needed. Yes, I just swore, if you would consider 'goddamn' a swear word.

No, I'm not angry. I am… lost.

Look at me… my thoughts are rambling about a boy when I _should_ be paying attention to my teacher. I've never had this problem before. I've always been righteous, my thoughts have always been in the right place and now…

_Eli_.

My own personal slice of heaven and hell. Life is deliciously ironic.

I couldn't tell you how it happened; it's one of those phenomena that cannot be explained. Not the kind that make you scratch your head in annoyance, wondering how blind you possibly are when the answer could be dangling right in front of your eyes; it's one of those that doesn't _need_ an explanation, doesn't _need_ justification.

Eli and I didn't _need_ anything. Or maybe I was simply wrong. Maybe we needed more than that; maybe we needed the world.

It seems we were fated to meet at the opportune moment. We were just two kids, living life as it presented itself to us without a motive, without a drive; simply _living_ to get through the day, to escape the tragedy we called our _lives_.

Eli fixed me when I was too blind to see I was broken. He taught me to take risks, to confront the ones I loved for the greater good of myself, of my family. And although my regards involving his feud with his enemy would be naught but a mere passing breeze through the rainstorm that are his thoughts, I know I taught him something. When I confronted him at his home, he wouldn't have stopped me from walking away, wouldn't have driven me halfway across the city and wouldn't have told me his dark secret without having a shred of hope that I didn't judge him; that I had the goodness in my heart to accept him for everything that he is and wouldn't think twice before allowing him to take all the time he needed to sort himself out. He knew I'd understand; I taught him to trust.

And perhaps Eli and I didn't _need_ the world; maybe we just needed each other.

They say that love is like getting hit by a falling apple from a tree; you spend your days running in circles, contemplating your existence when it suddenly hits you squarely on the back of your head, causing all your jumbled thoughts to fall into place and make even the most ridiculous of ideas seem completely relevant. Eli screwed up my life; he turned it upside-down, turned me into a person I never dreamed I'd have the strength to be.

Nothing seemed logical anymore yet everything made sense. An apple had fallen on my head. I was finally able to say the word without cringing. Love.

I loved him. I loved Eli. I loved him more than I could possibly imagine.

Arrogant boy, he was hell reincarnated. He could set you on fire with his gaze and a mere scowl from him would make you contemplate whether you told your loved ones how you felt today; death seemed to loom around your thoughts when he scowled at you. And never would you think that beneath that fiery exterior, behind that glare of death, he was probably just as lost as you were, carrying the heart of a pure and innocent girl who contemplated how she fell for such a mysterious boy to begin with.

And perhaps you would be right to suspect something was off about him. Although he gazed at _me_ with admiration, his enemies would get a different set of green eyes.

I was naïve to believe he would spare my suggestions a second thought; he was much too volatile. The thought of apologizing and speaking like the mature men they weren't phased Eli. I wasn't sure if it was the thrill of revenge or danger that pushed him to such limits but when it came to fighting his enemies, Eli was always prepared to clash, no matter how theatrical his comebacks would seem. Needless to say, it annoyed me. Yet, I never thought he would take it so far…

To the point where death seemed to fit itself into the equation.

I never knew true fear. I think I had been frightened a few times as a child when I found a spider crawling on my ceiling. Yet, fear like _this_, fear that tightens your nerves, stops your heart, freezes your spine and cuts your thoughts to ribbons, not feeling yet feeling every possible emotion your being could handle… that is _true_ fear. And I had felt it. With the glint of a knife begging to tear his flesh.

I thought of nothing. I thought of everything. What would I have done when the knife gorged its prey, when I caught his lifeless body and stained my hands and dress with his scarlet blood while I drenched his already soaked jacket with salty tears? I would have begged life to take me away with him. Cliché? Perhaps. It would seem a cliché to those who have never felt love. Life seems irrelevant without your significant half when you're in love; life seemed irrelevant without Eli.

I blinked rapidly to avoid the tears that were slowly forming in my eyes. My teachers had enough reason to believe I had lost my mind when the news of Vegas Night broke out; I didn't need to give them another reason to question my sanity. But how could I hide it? It wasn't my fault. It was his. _It was his own damn fault._

This wouldn't have happened if Eli hadn't played their game; if he had been the better man and listened to my advice. This wouldn't have happened if he had just _listened_ to **me**! We could have spent the night of the dance hand in hand, without a care in the world. We could have been perfect.

But… this is Eli. He likes making things complicated. Do I even mean anything to him? He doesn't listen to me. He just _doesn't listen_. Why? Why, Eli, why?

_For the love of God, why?_

I jumped out of my seat and stormed out of the classroom the second I heard the bell ring through the hallways, sniffing loudly in an attempt to halt the tears that threatened to pour down my face. I couldn't take this. These mind tricks, these _games_ he plays. Does he do this on purpose? Go back and forth, sweet yet sinful, hot yet cold? Does he know how I feel about him? Does he feel the same?

…..I would doubt it.

"Clare?"

I tensed when I heard the sound of his voice beside me, coarse and sweet like cinnamon sticks. I had no idea he was there; I was lost in my own thoughts. Was he passing by? Had he been waiting there for me? Irrelevant. I was lost.

"Please, Clare, I need to speak to you."

That did it.

I slammed my lock against the door, letting the sound of its deafening crash fuel my confused thoughts. Turning to face him, I gazed into his piercing eyes, praying he couldn't see the torment that was building up behind my thoughtless eyes. I tried to look upset; I really tried. Emotions seemed so trivial, though…

"Talk about WHAT, Eli? How you take my breath away, kiss me and hold my hand and suddenly turn violent, don't listen to my pleas, almost get yourself killed and barely speak to me for two weeks?"

"It's not like that. You wouldn't understand."

I wouldn't understand? I wouldn't understand why he speaks of love and adoration at the sight of me yet turns cruel and violent towards his rivals and offers no words after the incident. He's right; I don't understand. He made no sense. Arrogant, stubborn, confused boy. He was just as lost as I was.

I shook my head, fighting back a new batch of tears. "You're stubborn as sin, Eli, you know that? You'd rather choose your pride over those that care about you. What am I to you?"

I spat the last words. I needed to know. I needed to know why whenever we took one step forward, we took two steps back. Why could we never work?

"Clare, I… how could I speak to you after what had happened? How could I even look at you and not feel ashamed for what I had done to you?"

Words. All of it. He was doing it again. Going back and forth, to hell and back, hot one moment and cold the next. I needed a straight answer. I needed it now. I stared blankly at him, waiting for an incentive not to let the tears flow out of my eyes.

"Please, Clare," he said sincerely, gazing into my eyes with a look of hurt, "I'm sorry. Please tell me you'll give me a chance; please tell me I have a second chance to fix this."

At that moment, I wanted nothing more than for him to take me in his arms and let the tears stream down my face, soaking his shoulder. I would have wanted him to bury his face in my hair and take in the scent while I gushed every feeling of pain and angst through my eyes.

That was only a dream…

We were much too distant now; in two different worlds, disconnected by confusion and disagreement. I only wish that, when he left me, he would leave me with some sort of notion that… at some point… he loved me too.

I took a few steps back, letting the tears pour down my face as the pulchritudinous form of the boy I loved more than anything became nothing but a blurred mess. Through my fogged vision, I could swear I saw him lift a hand to me, as if he was _asking_ me to stay. Preposterous. I shook my head, denying the thought.

"I don't love you, Eli."

With a sharp intake of breath, I turned the other way and paced towards the exit, wiping a few stray tears from my face as I realized what I had done. I had left the boy who held my heart in his hands with nothing but regret and hopelessness in his cloudy gaze. I had committed the ultimate sin; I had broken a Commandment.

I lied. For I could never love anyone the way I loved him.

After the loss, misconceptions, confusion and stupid games we played… would I go back to the beginning? Would I go back to stop Alli from tossing my glasses on the street, never letting him crush them, never having the chance to meet him and never hearing him tell me of the beauty in my eyes? Or would I let things happen the way they did and not change a thing?

Would I do all of this over again?

Yes. I would. Always.

But he can never know.

_When you go, would you even turn to say  
"I don't love you like I did yesterday"?_

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**Thinking about making this longer than a threeshot. :) The last chapter's song will be the same as the title of the story. Figure out the band who sings it and you get a cookie. XD Wouldn't be too hard, judging by my narrow-minded taste in music. Send me Taco Night love (and hate) reviews! They will be cuddled. :D**


	3. Therapy

**A/N: I don't know why, but it's always easier to write in Eli or Adam's POV. Or from the third person. I just... CAN't do Clare. :S Odd, really. Meh... So, I've decided to make this a fiveshot (heehee...fiveshot XD) because I got some nasty death threats over breaking up EClare. Guys... come on. This is ME. KH-Akyra, MissStarPunk, CrystalFissure, Alex, WHATEVER. The point is... if you really knew me... would I EVER break up EClare? XD NO, SILLIES! My little heart just wouldn't be able to handle it. xD Eli and Clare belong together! **

**I do not own the song "Therapy" by All Time Low. But... holy hell... listen to it. NOW. It just screamed Eli to me.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi. If I did, you would be watching THIS next Friday. XD**

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_In a city of fools, I was careful and cool  
But they tore me apart like a hurricane  
A handful of moments I wish I could change  
But I was carried away_

___Give me therapy, I'm a walking travesty  
But I'm smiling at everything  
Therapy, you were never a friend to me  
You can choke on your misery_

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Disconnected. What a foul word. I really disliked it. The arrangement of consonants and vowels just didn't work. 'Disconnected' wasn't a pleasure for the senses; its definition was no better.

Yet, I couldn't find a better way to describe what I was feeling at this moment. I'd even wonder if the events that took place a mere hour ago were real, or if they were just a passing dream.

_I don't love you, Eli_

Passing dream? More like a haunting nightmare. Yet I'd take a thousand sleepless nights for it to _not_ be real. Praying only gets you so far. It doesn't erase the past.

They say that sulking gets you nowhere; if you need to change an aspect of your life, you would have to have the drive and determination to do it yourself. Truly a wise philosophy to stand by…. I despise every word of it.

Beyond doubt, the person who had thought of this was never in love; never had their heart shattered as they watched the only hope they had at heaven on earth shake her head solemnly as countless salty tears ran down her face, denying your love, denying _you_. _You_ were the reason those tears streamed from her perfect eyes. _You_ were the reason that celestial angel's heart lay fractured at your feet.

Make the change in your life? Really? As if it was _that_ simple. Irrelevant.

She had made it clear not to follow her, not to pursue her or make any attempts at professing the intensity of my love for that girl. She made it very clear my feelings were futile as she dropped my heart to the cold floor, my heart of glass that she held in her hands, and cried as she watched my only hope at something real shattered at her feet.

She made it clear I shouldn't try. And try, I won't.

My name is Eli Goldsworthy and I am stubborn as sin. I do what I please; I don't listen to others. Yet, I would do _anything_ Clare Edwards asked.

I leaned my head against the wall, diverting my attention to the window beside me as I fiddled with the mp3 player in my hands. How long had I been sitting here, sulking? I'm sure groups of students would momentarily divert their attention to me, pausing their obnoxious conversation to wonder why the scary, dark clad boy they had seen sitting on that bench with his back against the wall earlier today was _still_ there. Let them think what they want; I couldn't care less.

If only they had seen what my unworthy eyes had seen on that fateful day naught but a few weeks ago. It had been during my first few days at a new school and already I had royally screwed up. I remembered the jolt of fear and disappointment as I saw the short Indian girl at the curb toss a pair of expensive glasses towards the street, not giving my car's massive tires a chance to come to a stop and perhaps spare the life of the cheap glass and plastic rims. I remembered rolling my eyes as I heard the deafening crunch under my tires; I definitely didn't have the money to replace them. Luckily for me, she didn't ask me to. Yet, I like to think someone was watching over me that day.

I don't believe in a higher power. It never made sense to me. Yet, at that moment… I questioned it. I questioned how a mortal human girl could be so beautifully ravishing; how a mere human could have jewels instead of eyes, the silk of cinnamon and autumn in her hair and the voice of a songbird, light and sweet like peonies and honey. I questioned how I could have possibly had the chance to lay eyes on this deity and what good things I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve such a tantalizing sight.

To even question a past life would mean to question spirituality. I didn't care; she was worth it.

_You have pretty eyes_

How could I ever be held responsible for my actions, for saying those words? I wasn't in the right mindset; heck, I had forgotten what it meant to think. She had stolen everything I owned with a single glance of her bright, clear, sapphire eyes. My thoughts went along with them. And, in all honesty… I don't regret any of it.

Forget what I said. I don't wish for these lowly students to have seen what I had laid eyes on that day. They wouldn't deserve it.

I can't describe the ecstasy that coursed through my veins when she screamed for me in public. In all honesty, I didn't expect her to have the courage to accept my challenge. This girl was not only beautiful beyond compare but held so many enticing treasures behind those pretty blue eyes. Although the world may have gazed at her with perplexity as to why a teenager was screaming her lungs out beside a nervous, dark clad boy, I was captivated by it.

Needless to speak of the bliss that coursed through me when she approached me, pointing a menacing index finger at me as she attempted to make me return the favour. Silly girl; I don't yell in public. Yet I did enjoy the proximity between us as she advanced towards me, allowing me to lock her wrists in my grip as she backed me into a telephone pole, bringing our lips that much closer.

My heart had burned with desire to just claim her then and there, to press my lips against hers, feel the softness of her touch on my skin as I spoke a thousand words of my intense infatuation for her with such a simple gesture.

I can't explain how I even had the strength to hold myself back. But Clare was something special. You don't rush into things with a lovely girl like that; you wait for the perfect moment. Although my perfect moment hadn't been then, just the sight of her alluring gaze and the sound of her breath cutting short as she realized the sudden closeness between us was enough to give me the sweetest dreams until my next perfect moment would arise.

At that moment, my objective was clear: I would make Clare Edwards mine. Whether it took hours or months, grand gestures or the simplest words… I would one day let her know of the permanent mark she had left on my heart.

Now… she made it clear it would be useless.

And I will not try.

I never listen to others; I do what _I_ think is right, even if my definition of right differs from theirs. Yet… I would do anything Clare asked of me.

They say love makes you do crazy things. This is a philosophy I can relate to. It would be a lie to say that I haven't changed in the slightest after having met her. It would also be a lie to say that any other boy could love Clare with the intensity and passion that I had.

It would kill me to ever leave her. Yet, if she asked it… if it made her happy… I would. It's so easy to be willing to live the rest of your years in a void of pain and agony when the epitome of perfection asked for it. Love _does_ make you do crazy things. I doubt I would regret it.

With or without me, if Clare was happy… I would have closure.

I felt a tug at the chord to my earphones, yanking the buds out of my ears and snapping me out of my trance.

"Dude, you look like death himself. What happened?"

I shifted my gaze to the pair of worried blue eyes that hung above me. Granted, they weren't the eyes I had hoped for but Adam somehow always knew when I was feeling down. Odd. He doesn't usually notice anything. I must be a terrible actor.

"Nothing, Adam," I said softly, diverting my gaze to the tangled cords that lay on my lap.

"You're a terrible liar, man. Clare isn't in class and you're sitting here, sulking for hours? Something's up."

I shot him a death glare. "I confronted her today. She doesn't forgive me. Won't even give me a second chance."

I watched as his gaze shifted to a look of disappointment, nodding sarcastically. "So, you just give up? That's not like you, Eli."

"She made it clear she didn't want to see me. I won't force her."

"And maybe she's wrong to think that. Ever thought of that?"

I furrowed my brow in confusion. Last time I checked, Adam was disgusted by public displays of affection. When did he start giving me love advice? "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that the two of you have something going for each other. Not talking isn't going to solve anything. What happened to you, man? Usually, you would have already trapped her in a corner and forced her to listen to you by now."

My expression went blank. The old Eli would have done that. The one who wasn't much too broken to think straight. "I can't be arrogant. Not when it comes to Clare."

"Maybe arrogance is what you need right now."

I kept my gaze on the brick wall before me, taking in his words. I sighed, staying silent. One thing to always remember about Adam: he tends to prove valid points.

"Either you tell her how you feel and get rejected again or live the rest of your life in regret, wondering what could have happened."

He picked up his bag off the floor and flung it over his shoulder before giving me one last firm look. "You're smart, Eli. I think you know what the best option is."

I watched with confusion as he walked away, my eyes wide with thought. It was always much too simple to be conceited when it came to others. Yet, I always had my way. Perhaps Adam was right.

My heart is shattered as it is. How much more can her rejection break it?

I made a promise to her. A silent promise. She didn't know of it, but I had vowed to keep it.

I promised she would one day know what she had done to me, how she had stolen my heart, no matter how crushed it felt at the moment. And I intend to keep it.

I briskly stood up, shoving my mp3 player in my pocket as I marched towards the school's exit. If she wasn't in class right now, where else would she be other than outside?

Arrogant boy… I had tried to hide this side of myself from Clare. She deserved nothing less than perfection. Yet, perhaps my arrogance is what defined me; perhaps my arrogance is what led me to fall for her in the first place.

I tried to mask my arrogance from Clare. I could never succeed.

I just loved her too much.

_Arrogant boy, love yourself so no one has to  
They're better off without you  
Arrogant boy, cause a scene like you__'re supposed to  
They'll fall asleep without you  
You're lucky if your memory remains_

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**Ooh, Eli's going for it! XD As per usual, next chapter will be this in Clare's POV. The last chapter will be Eli's POV because... well, let's just say I got a REALLY nice idea for the last chapter while reading the TANTALIZINGLY LOVELY verbal acuity's latest fic. Go read it... AFTER pressing that magical Review button. Remember when I said reviews will be cuddled last chapter? Well, we all know that cuddling first won't make a difference. Know what would? Brain-eating. It's HOT. And review worthy. XD**


	4. Everything We Had

**A/N: I seem to have a knack for updating RIGHT before the new episodes every Friday. xD Whatever keeps the story going!**

**I don't own the song "Everything We Had" by The Academy Is... Had some trouble with choosing the song though. :S It was a toss-up but these little rascals won in the end. xD**

**Disclaimer: I won the lotto and bought CTV, thus I own everything. xD Nah, but really, I'm broke. I own nothing. ;_;**

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_It was the only place I'd never known  
Turned off the light on my way out the door  
I will be with you wherever you go_

_You have been followed back to the same place I sat with you drink for drink  
Take the pain out of love and then love won't exist_

_You saw for yourself, the way it played out  
For you, I am blinded_

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I love the rain. Really, I do. I love listening to the soft pangs on my window in the middle of the night. The sound is soothing, rhythmic, almost melodic. Rain was something we all needed to learn to treasure.

I also despise how people had misused the term of rain over the years. I would log in to social networking sites every night and see countless pictures of darkness and melancholy with captions describing the rain as the closest thing to happiness they'll ever find. As if the rain was the only consolation to their miserable life. I never understood it; the rain had always been a symbol of cleansing and purity to me.

Yet, as I sat on the edge of a wobbly picnic table near the entrance of the school, my arms wrapped tightly around my waist to stop myself from falling to pieces as a few droplets of rain splattered on my already messy hair, I understood. I understood them when they said: "I love walking in the rain because nobody knows I'm crying."

The sky was overcast and the students were rushing indoors or opening umbrellas, taking a moment to shoot awkward glances my way as they wondered why I sat solemnly out in the open, allowing the few raindrops that fell from the sky to scrape my face, blending in with the residue of tears that had pooled out of my eyes naught but a moment ago. For once, I didn't care. Let them look at me. If they knew what I had seen, they'd do the same.

I wanted to keep my glasses after my surgery and give them to my mother; she wanted to donate them to the ophthalmology clinic at the hospital. But Alliah is a fiery, enthusiastic girl. She wouldn't let me keep them, insisting that my change was good for me. She didn't even let me explain why I wanted to keep them; she just tossed them into the open road, unaware of her surroundings. In all honesty, I don't think she did it on purpose. But when I heard the deafening crunch of broken glass under a tire, I almost let my anger out on her. Those were expensive glasses!

Yet… the way he swiftly and so expertly ghosted from the driver's seat and picked up the crushed mess from the road, the way his lanky hands cradled my broken glasses in his grip and that smile, that shy little smile that danced on his lips only but a moment as he handed my glasses to me…

Alli seemed irrelevant. The world around me seemed irrelevant. I think I had forgotten my name for a split second.

_I think they're dead_

I was at a loss for words. My mouth spilled a string of nonsensical words but my heart and mind were focused on his eyes. I had never seen eyes like his before; sparkles of jade examining my every stress, my every falter. He stared directly at my eyes, as if trying to draw up some sort of conclusion from them.

_You have pretty eyes_

My mother had always told me to watch for evil men. She had always taught me that boys clad in darkness with no love for authority or religion must be avoided at all costs, for they are the works of the devil, sent to me to spite me or divert me from my spiritual path. This boy, this dark, mysterious, lovely boy would have sent her running to the hills. I couldn't care less.

His eyes scanning my every movement, that little smirk escaping his lips when he dropped his gaze for a split second… I had to see him again.

I made it clear I only wished to see him again; never did I think I'd scream for him in a public area. Then again, it's not as if I did it for him; my public humiliation was merely an act of defence for my pride. He had insulted my ego, telling me I was too afraid of what people thought of me. Who am I to let him get away with such nonsense?

In all honesty, I didn't mind the embarrassment; I didn't mind the strange stares from pedestrians nor did I mind the angry grunt from the old man who ran the flower shop behind us. What did bother me was Eli's reluctance to do the same. After all, he obviously doesn't care what people think of him since he's preaching this nonsense to me; why would he ever care?

I remember advancing towards him, pointing a threatening finger to him as he backed into a telephone pole. I wasn't angry or upset. I was happy; genuinely happy. I was having the most fun I had had in a long while. And for once, I felt as if maybe some of the things I had been taught throughout the course of my life could be overlooked. Eli was the boy every parent prayed their daughter wouldn't bring home to dinner. At least, he looked the part. I found something much more prominent in the few hours I had spent with him.

He definitely stayed true to his image; he was ruthless, stubborn, violent and manipulative. Yet, the sincerity in his smile when he read over my work, the look of amusement creeping on his face as he watched me humiliate myself and his laughter as he tightened his grip on my wrists… it was genuine.

I felt my breath cut short as I realized the close proximity between us, our lips merely a few inches apart. I remember taking in the scent of his breath against my skin, an intoxicating aroma of coffee and apples as his jade eyes scanned my surprised blue ones. This wasn't like the first time we met; he wasn't examining my eyes, trying to discover some sort of meaning to them. It was if he was reading a book, and I was the countless number of poetic words etched on the parchment he held in his hands. He wasn't figuring me out; he_ knew _me. With naught but a glance at my eyes…

I was taken aback when he had let me go. Perhaps it was for the best. Although that one moment of perfection lasted mere seconds, I knew it was the start of a wonderful friendship. Perhaps something more… although I'm pretty sure he saw _that_ hope in my eyes as well…

At that moment, my objective was clear. Eli Goldsworthy was mine, and only mine. Only I would discover his treasures, the secrets he hid behind the smiles he would flash solely to me. Perhaps we were only English partners; perhaps we may have even been friends. But to me… he was the first and last boy I would ever love.

Even if he'd never know it.

Forget what I said. The students who shot me awkward glances… they didn't deserve to see what I had seen in Eli. Heck, they didn't even deserve to _look_ at him strolling through the halls. I believed not one soul deserved enough to lay eyes on such perfection.

Not even me.

It was so easy to convince him I had a deplorable amount of hate for him after the events from two weeks before. It was an ironic turn of events working in my favour. He had hurt me in a way that I never dreamed possible. Yet… I'm thankful.

It was a sign that I couldn't mean much to him. Friends, perhaps. Nothing more. If he was willing to hurt me in such a way without considering my thoughts or feelings in the process… he couldn't have much love for me. At least, not the amount I had for him.

I would cry a river for him. I would trade a thousand knives to see that smile again, the one he reserved solely for me.

And I will _never_ be deserving of his perfection.

_I don't love you, Eli_

I'm going to hell. I had uttered the ultimate lie. Might as well get used to the droplets of rain that splattered on my face. It will be worse in the afterlife…

What more do I have to look forward to now? I have sent him away, convinced him that I will never feel anything but platonic emotions towards him. I will probably watch him move on; I will watch him find other girls and smile at them the way he smiled at me. I would envy them when they would get a taste of his lips, an intricate mix of bitterness and caramel that I adored. And I will watch in graveness as I knew in my heart…

That no girl would _ever_ love him the way I did.

I won't be going to hell for that. It's the truth. He deserved nothing but perfection. And although I am far from the embodiment of perfection, the love and adoration I possessed could never be rivalled.

And he will never know that.

The rain had become heavier and I felt my hair quickly grow damp as the moisture began soaking my clothes. The students had scurried inside for shelter, leaving me and my dark thoughts without an umbrella. I couldn't find it in my heart to care anymore. The rain used to be beautiful to me.

I felt my heart drop when I caught a glimpse of him. _Him_. The boy who made my heart stop at the sight of his gemstone eyes and took my breath away with the curtsy on his lips he called a smirk.

I prayed with my entire being that he would not catch a glimpse of me not too far away, my soaked hair pressed against my face and my pain-stricken gaze as he scoured the entrance of the school. I couldn't bear to see him again. Not after before…

Not after everything we had.

I don't think I'd be able to keep my composure. I don't think I'd be able to speak soft, strenuous words if he decided to grace me with his presence. Most of all, I didn't think I'd be able to keep the tears at bay as they danced on my eyelashes, threatening to fall as I watched him stride towards me, a sullen look in his eyes as the rain drenched his flawless form.

He obviously didn't get the message. I would have to make it clearer. Yet… I don't think I had the strength in me to hurt him again.

I just loved him too much.

_Everything we had is no longer there_

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**Next chapter will be the last. *sob* I want to go all out. So, I promise to put every single meaningless scrap of writing skills I have into that chapter. I need to take a risk with my writing! (loleclarereferencexD) But, I'll need some motivation... Hmm... Oh, why hello there, Mr. Review Button! What's that you say? I'll get motivation if people CLICK you? How interesting! xD Reviews keep me writing.**


	5. Someone Like You

**A/N: Umm... so, I came THIS close to changing the title of this story to "Tonight, I Love You" and using The Latency's song instead of this one. XD But... I decided not to. I merely spazzed when I heard that song during Umbrella Part 2. I mean, I had been tweeting them for _weeks_ about how one of their songs should be featured on Degrassi and BOOM! It happens. xD And when I asked them to tweet me something nice and they tweeted me back telling me to have a good weekend? Yep, spazzed even more. But... the story's still called "Someone Like You" isn't it? :) Ok, so I worked REALLY hard on this chapter. :S I hope it's as good as I promised it would be.**

**I do not own the song Someone Like You by Boys Like Girls. I own nothing whatsoever. But whoever guessed I'd use BLG's song gets a virtual cookie :)**

**Reminder: This entire fic is dedicated to _Erised Lestrange_. Because she is a-may-zing. Don't forget that. :)**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Degrassi, every episode would be about EClare. xD**

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_So sing me a song I know all the words to and I'll sing along  
__Could you be my saviour?  
__I've been out here too long and I've just been looking for somewhere to belong  
__Barely holding on  
__So can you save me now?_

_When the stars explode and I'm all alone  
__When they start to see the smoke, when I've finally burned out  
__I'll need someone to carry me home safe and sound_

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I hated sappy love songs. I could never understand where the idea came from; countless songs of meaningless words, explaining how a boy would gaze in wonder at how a girl could have plucked the stars from the sky and replaced them as her eyes; how words sounded so much sweeter when she uttered them and how the sun seemed so much brighter when she was in his arms. I couldn't understand it. How can someone see so much in another, see things the world was too blind to perceive? I had perfect vision for as long as I can remember and I have watched the world surrounding me, every minute of every day; it was bleak. There were moments of happiness… but those never lasted. I find it odd how hopeless romantic wannabe rock stars could sing of such unseen, nonexistent beauty.

I am Eli Goldsworthy and, although my intelligence surpasses the mark of above average, I do get a few things wrong. I guess those wannabe rock stars had a point; for when I laid eyes on that creature, the one who sat solemnly on the edge of a picnic table, her beautiful eyes swimming in tears, her damp, maple and cinnamon hair pressed against her face as she watched me advancing towards her with a look of hate and fear… I had seen it all.

The rampant, obnoxious students had rushed indoors to protect themselves from the rain, not bothering to carry this lost soul to shelter. To them, she was just another person. To me, she was so much more… for I had never seen perfection until this moment.

She hated me… I was sure of it. I'll let her get away… once she was fully aware as to what she had done to my heart; broken, mangled, torn to shreds and bleeding adoration for her simple existence.

"Clare," I called briskly as I came to a stop before her. She jerked her head upwards, glaring at me. Her eyes were bloodshot and her face was flushed as she watched me with hungry eyes, demonic and cruel. I had never seen her so angry. So angry at _me._ It's a shame she won't get her way.

My name is Eli Goldsworthy and I _always_ get what I want. Luckily, what I want is in the best interest of the ones I love. Clare could curse my name and spit on my existence all she wants. It wouldn't change a thing.

I just love her. Simple as that. And I will not give up until she's mine.

"Eli… go away… Just go _away_," she growled at me, her gaze cynical and murderous. Her eyes sparkled when she was angry, same as they did on every occasion I had the luck to gaze into their crystalline perfection. I couldn't tell you the expression that painted itself on my face at that moment; rest assured, it was a Goldsworthy first. I most likely looked pained, torn, lost with my brow furrowed in fear and determination. Go ahead, take a picture. The famous Elijah Goldsworthy, drenched from the heavy rain, looking _fearful_ and _vulnerable_.

In front of a _girl_.

Have your laugh; you've obviously never been in love.

"I'm not going anywhere," I replied, my voice cracking.

She gasped, letting her gaze fall slightly as she shook her head in disbelief. Her gaze was just as lethal as before yet her face told a different story: confusion. Lost between disappointment and need.

"Why? Why do you always make everything so _damn difficult_?"

The rain began to pour intensely as she rose from her seat on the table, shoving my shoulder slightly as she passed me. Stubborn… and arrogant. Just like me. I cannot have this; no one walks away with my heart with no knowledge of what they possessed. I spun around and swiftly grabbed her arm, tightening my grip on her fragile limb as she skidded to a halt. I might have bruised her with the force of my grasp. I would never hurt her; but _anything_ to keep her from escaping. I don't think my heart could take watching her leave again.

She turned to face me, her eyes squinting as the pouring rain ran down her face, creeping over her long eyelashes. Her eyes were dull and grey, devoid of feeling.

"Didn't you _hear_ me before, Eli? I don't love you!"

I winced as she uttered those dreaded words again. This was harder to do with an already shattered heart. I refuse to give up.

"I don't… I don't…" she pleaded, pulling on her arm as she attempted to pry herself from my grasp. As if she was trying to convince herself the same thing…

"I can't change how you feel about me, Clare," I half-shouted, "But you can't leave without knowing what I feel for you."

She shook her head, her cheeks burning red as a few tears began to stream from her eyes. Were they tears or were they raindrops? I couldn't tell. All I could possibly say was… she was the most beautiful and heart-breaking thing I had ever seen.

"Eli..." she pleaded, her voice barely a whisper, "…don't make this… harder than it already is."

My gaze softened as her words registered into my mind. Harder? Impossible. It was all too simple for me.

"I'm not perfect. I've made mistakes, too many to even deserve forgiveness from you. I'm the worst influence you've ever met, perhaps the worst person you ever will meet. And you had me falling since the moment I laid eyes on you."

People have told me it was difficult to pour your heart out to someone, especially one who has broken your heart into a million pieces. Why was it so easy with Clare?

Why was _everything_ so much easier with Clare?

Her expression had softened into a look of fear and confusion as she gazed into my eyes, her drenched hair pressed across her forehead as the rain continued to drip down her lovely face. She was at a loss for words. As was I.

My confidence was slipping. Her attention span wore thin. I needed to say something, _anything_ to keep her near, to keep the proximity of what little we had within reach.

What do you do when you're out of ideas? You do the next best thing.

I kissed her.

My lips were rough and demanding against her soft, surprised ones. Her breathing had suddenly come to a stop as I felt her knees weaken beneath me. I placed my other arm firmly around her waist to prevent her from falling, tightening my chokehold grasp on her arm to prevent her from escaping. This kiss was raw and untamed compared to every other blissful moment I had the good fortune of having her so close to me. Things were different then; they were simpler. Perhaps this was one last futile attempt to remind myself of what perfection tasted like.

She turned to the side, breaking the kiss as the uncomfortable tension settled between us. "No, Eli… You can't do this to me anymore."

"This? What do you mean by _this_?" I asked softly, dropping my head to her level, attempting to gaze into her eyes. She looked away, avoiding my gaze as the rain dripped from her sodden hair onto her skin.

"This? _This_? Everything," she said firmly, choking on her sobs as she flicked her empty gaze at my eyes, "I was willing to give you the world, Eli. It would have been so simple… and we would have been so perfect. You can't play with my heart like this; I can't stand it anymore. I lied, alright? I tried to send you away with my words but that obviously never works. What will it take for the message to get across to you?"

I didn't want to believe it. I wanted to pinch myself and wake up in my huddled bedroom, dry, well-rested and ready for another day at school where I would serenade the loveliest girl in the world with my charm. I want many things; it doesn't mean I ever get them. Instead I find myself shivering in the cold, drenched to the bone, gazing at the one girl who could ever take my breath away with a single glance as she poured her heart out to me.

"What are you talking about?" I demanded furiously, my voice a few octaves higher than normal.

She choked on a few sobs before responding. "You're so indecisive! Hot one moment, cold the next? You kiss me in the morning and break my heart at night with a knife in the wall! Do you even stop to think about what you do to me? I get it. I don't mean much to you. But _please _stop playing with my heart like this! I can't take it anymore. What I said to you earlier? I lied. I lied to get you to leave me, to stop shattering my heart. How can I ever not love you?"

She…loved me.

She loved me.

_She loved me_.

The words registered in my mind but my heart pounded frantically in my chest, cutting my breath short as the rain drops mixed themselves with the fresh tears that began to run down her face. The epitome of perfection herself, heaven embodied, an angel without wings had the utmost love in her heart for me. Needless to speak of the intensity of the love and passion I felt for her…

Yet she asks the impossible. She asks I do not cause her pain. She seems to have forgotten who I am.

Eli Goldsworthy. Hell reincarnated. I always hurt others.

"You…love me?" I asked blankly, dropping my gaze to the soaked pavement. I was much too nervous for her response to look into her eyes and be able to keep my sanity in check.

I heard a soft sigh escape her lips. "I love you, Eli Goldsworthy. More than any girl ever would be able to."

I immediately lifted my gaze, my eyes widening as I scoured her blue orbs, searching for any sign of deceit. I found none.

"I love you… but I don't know how much more heartbreak I could take…"

It slowly became harder for me to breathe as I watched her tremble from the damp cold, her eyes wide and empty, her lips slightly parted and a look of confusion painted across her flawless face. We had everything. We _could have the world_. But this painstaking dialogue, the thick tension that rained down on us with the droplets of water from the sky…

At that moment, I wished I could give her the world. I wished I could give her the stars and slip the rings of Saturn on her finger in the place of her purity ring. I would give her the universe as I held onto her faith, locking it in the darkest and most secretive depths of my heart; a silent promise that I would never let the world, nor myself, tamper with her soul.

Wishing can get you so far. For I always hurt the ones I love most, no matter what I do.

If this truly was the last time I would ever lay eyes on the very definition of perfection, she would have to know what she has done to me.

"I would never intentionally hurt you, Clare. Never. Not even if my life depended on it. But… I always seem to screw up. Everything I do. It never fails to escalate to heartbreak. And… you're the one who suffers.

"I need you, Clare. I can't possibly live without you. Nor can I live with the knowledge that I will never cease to hurt you. I'll give you your freedom as long as you let me have my last words."

Her eyes slowly widened as I spoke, taking in my every word as she blinked the rain from her eyes. I did the same but to no avail. I could easily blink raindrops from my eyes. Tears, on the other hand, don't cease their streaming. My cheeks burned as a few solemn tears rolled down my cheek; the first tears I had cried in years. And they were all for Clare.

"You had me since the moment I laid eyes on you. The stars I see every night pale in comparison to your sapphire eyes. Your voice is the soundtrack to my dreams and your charm and wit invade my every thought. Your flawless beauty makes it hard for me to breathe. You're smart and shy yet fiery and opinionated, always keeping me surprised and wanting more.

"You are the most amazing girl I have ever met. And it is with sincerity that I say that you, Clare Edwards, hold my heart in your hands. I have fallen in love with you and no amount of time apart could ever change that. I love you, Clare. I always will."

The look in her eyes will forever be etched in my mind; a look of shock and fear laced with nervousness and anxiety. But most of all, I wouldn't ever dare to forget the glimmer of love in her eyes as my words registered in her mind, worming their way into her heart.

With a solemn look and a failed attempt at pure perfection, I turned around and slowly began to walk away, the raindrops pouring down my face from my soaked hair. We could have had it all had I been more vigilant, had she been more forgiving. Perhaps I could have had another taste at heaven. But… those days are gone. I can walk away from my only love with composure and self-control knowing that, whenever she closed her eyes, I would be by her side. Not physically… but I would always keep her heart safe, even if I had to do so in her dreams.

"Eli! Wait!"

And perhaps reality was better than my dreams.

I spun around, gazing at the sight. She gazed directly at me, the rain pouring on her perfect figure, her stare fiery and passionate with fear and love pouring from he sapphire orbs. It was the most beautiful sight I had ever laid eyes on.

"Don't go, Eli… please. You can't walk out of my life with my heart in your hands."

I gulped, hesitant of her words. "Do you want it back?"

Her eyes widened, the corners of her lips pulling upwards slightly. "No."

With such a simple gesture, with so few words, she set my heart aflutter, beating a mile a minute as I smiled with relief when her words had finally sunk in. At that moment, I could not have been held responsible for what I decided to do next.

I took long strides towards her as she paced in my direction, my eyes smouldering and my breathing irregular. Too long I have spent away from her, too long had it been since I felt her touch, felt the softness of her lips against mine. I welcomed the electricity that coursed through my veins every time I looked into her eyes, knowing that I had the right to claim her as mine, my one and only. I am never vulnerable. But if falling for Clare Edwards was against the law, I would take the death penalty in a heartbeat.

Our lips collided as I began to kiss her with all the passion I kept bottled within me, tracing the contours of her bottom lip with my tongue as my arms snaked their way around her waist, pulling her as close to me as humanely possible, never daring to let her go. She placed her dainty hands firmly around my neck for the same reasons, the rain trickling softly between us, never able to break us apart. With a simple gesture, she saved my life.

She smiled against my lips, taking my breath away in the process. "Never leave me, Eli…"

I chuckled. Silly girl. How could I ever leave her now? I bent forward, whispering softly in her ear. "For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night."

I heard her gasp slightly, remembering my odd, romantic banter from a few weeks ago. Little did she know of the intensity these words meant to me, how true a quote as old as the world ever could be in my eyes. For true beauty never could compare to her.

I pressed her forehead to mine, taking in her scent, her smile and the irrevocable thought that I would never let her leave my embrace. She was mine and only mine. How could I ever ask for the world when I held heaven in my arms?

There are people who search for that one special someone their entire lives. Some settle for second best, thinking they could never achieve anything better. Some don't cross each other until the next lifetime.

My name is Eli Goldsworthy and I was one of the lucky ones. I had always been looking for someone like Clare.

_My life in the rearview, I'm running from Jesus  
Don't know where I'm going to  
But I've got nothing to lose, I'm fighting my demons  
Been looking for someone like you  
I've been looking for someone like you_

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**SEE? I TOLD you they'd end up together! xD Silly! And you thought I'd break them apart... Tsk Tsk... I couldn't do it, especially not after Halo Part 1. Anybody else find that, at the end when Eli and Clare take Adam to the abandoned church, Adam was spazzing and running around like a little boy on Christmas and Eli & Clare were watching from behind like proud parents? Yes? I thought it was cute. :3 And EClare need to name their first born son after Adam... just saying... xD You know what I REALLY love? The sound of the clicking of that Review button down there. Oh, and the sound of you typing up a review. :D Yes, I REALLY like that. :3**


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